It all started with my GR friend Catherine, who almost NEVER steers me wrong, who said "You gotta grab this."
The other thing was that it was free yesterday on Amazon. (If those aren't also magic words, I don't know what are.)
So I was a good little girl and I grabbed it, and I inhaled it all today, and now I'm going to tell all of you: YOU GOTTA GRAB THIS. :)
It's pretty steamy, it has a relatable heroine, the Hero (of course) is super hot and who wouldn't like a fairy tale like this: you want to get rid of your pesky virginity, so you hire a hot guy to do the deed. He teaches you everything you need to know about sex, he's gorgeous, he's smart, he's funny, and he falls in love with you. What's not to like?
Bared to You: A Rant About A Rip-Off
As anyone who has seen my Goodreads updates on this will know, I've been having a REALLY BIG PROBLEM with this book. I should have known better; I tried to read this months ago and almost threw my kindle across the room (where, oh where is my "wallbanger by proxy" paperback when I need it?!). To be kind, let me just say the "similarities" to FSOG were just too much for me.
Well, since then, even more FSOG rip-offs sorry, homages have been released, and I've made the mistake of reading those too. I've got so many young, hot, gazillionaire dominants, wussy, clumsy "oh I'm not beautiful" heroines, messed up roommates (male, female, straight and otherwise) fucked up parents, traumatic childhoods, impossibly successful careers, spankings, cunnilingus, drenched slits, beautiful cocks, and endless bouts of shower sex running around in my head I can't keep ANY of these fucking books straight anymore.
The biggest thing this subgenre had going for it, and the reason I was sure it would eventually go the way of other "of the moment" books, was that they are all being written by unknown first-time authors. Self-pubs, too. These silly books won't be here 2 years from now, I figured. There's still hope for us.
And then Sylvia Day threw her hat into the ring, in an obvious attempt to ride the tsunami that was FSOG.
Hmmmm....not sure if I should laugh, read the whole series or take a shower (hot with lots of soap, not cold - I feel vaguely dirty).
Snarky me has never read a Christmas romance. I generally stay away from them just on principle. How much more contrived can you get?, is usually how my mind works. This year I figured I should try one. They are freaking EVERYWHERE in December, and this one was free on Amazon so what the heck.[b:Jingle This!|16118072|Jingle This! (a somewhat sassy Christmas novella)|Stephanie Rowe|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1351567091s/16118072.jpg|21936543] is a silly tale about a woman (whose name I can’t remember) who works as a writer at an ad agency. She is dating the schmucky co-owner of the agency, who dumps her at Thanksgiving. This comes as a complete surprise to her as she was expecting an engagement ring.
Now she’s angry and bitter and perhaps heart-broken (I say perhaps because it never really seems like she is), and it’s made even worse when she still has to write sappy ad copy for a client about love, romance and diamonds.
Enter the other owner of the ad agency. This is the hunky dude that runs the business end of the agency, and whatsername had a serious crush on him years ago when she worked with him on a project. Then he threw her over for her slutty sister and she hooked up with the schmuck.
Hunky dude (who has had the serious hots for whatsername since they worked together but thought she’d blown him off) tells whatsername that he needs to oversee her work since schmuck dumped her, because her writing is terrible and bitter and they are going to lose their client.
That’s the set-up. Hunky dude squires whatsername around New York at Christmas, helping her find inspiration to write her article. They fall for each other (again) and the parts of the book that are just those two shine. You can feel their chemistry and the banter between them is fun to read.
Where the book fails is the rest of it. Implausible situations, like that the schmuck cheats on whatsername with her slutty sister, her family knows it but tell her they are ok with it because they think the schmuck was a better match for the slutty sister; schmuck wants hunky dude to buy him out of the company but inexplicably (other than to create a conflict between hunky and whatsername) says he won’t sell if hunky dates whatsername; whatsername gets offered a job at Tiffany’s based on nothing more than an ad for another company.
All’s well that ends well, however – hunky dude and whatsername resolve their differences in a quick, convenient and fairy tale fashion, and everyone lives happily ever after.
Pffft. It was ok. I wouldn’t say I’d recommend it, mostly because I can’t even remember the characters’ names, but if you’re stuck in an airport this Christmas, it would help you pass the time.
2 stars.
DNF at 37% with a little bit of "ick".I've never really given much thought to how long I've been reading romances. They have just always been lying around - on bookshelves, my kindle, library books, borrowed from friends, given away and fondly remembered, just always there. I talk a lot about Shanna being the first one I read back in the late 70s, but I've never really connected the dots between how old I was then, and how old I am NOW.
It really became clear to me today when I picked up Amanda Rose by Karen Robards. Amanda Rose was written back in 1984, right around the time I was gorging myself on historical romances by Woodiwiss, McBain and Busbee.
The story begins with American privateer Matt Grayson and his harrowing escape from the gallows at Tyburn Hill. Injured in his escape, he is found by the virginal orphan Amanda Rose on an early morning walk on the beach.
Of course, he is injured (YAY! Sponge-bath-and-fever, my favourite trope!) and Amanda takes care of him. Of course, she spies his lush man-pelt and has to deal with those pesky tinglings in her nether parts. Of course, the stubbly beard that makes him look old gets shaved off, and she is overcome with feelings for this dangerously handsome convict. Of course, he is too old for her (33 to her 18) and tells her so. Often. And, of course, he kisses her.
All of this so far is quite good, and par for the course for romances written in the early 80s. I was settling in for an afternoon of adventure and romance - "so magnificent it will make your pulse pound and your heart rejoice".
Until Amanda starts looking at the Hero with huge, trusting, wonder-filled eyes and asks him if all girls feel the same when they are kissed? Is it always like this for him? And Hero answers her in a indulgent (shall we say patronizing) tone that no, hardly any girls are swept away by passion as she is and that he must not kiss her again, else he give in to his fever for her and take the gift that she should be saving (if you know what I mean).
All of this was absolutely fine with me 25 years ago when I dreamed of a tall, handsome manly man who would sweep me off my feet and teach me all I needed to know about lurv.
But reading a book like this 25 years later, when said tall, handsome manly man is chasing after the equivalent of a high school senior, and it squicks me out.
I've been spoiled by all the late-twenties spinsters populating historicals lately, I guess. The old standard age gap is has widened so far that for me, in this book, it was unbridgeable. And that's when it occurred to me just how long I've been reading romances, and how my perspective has changed.
Maybe I'll try to skew my thinking and try this book again later, when I'm more able to channel my inner 18 year old ingenue.
This is NOT a romance. Not erotica. Not a love story of any type or description. WHAT. SO. EVER. Anyone who picks this up expecting yet another version of 50 Shades, only darker and more BDSM-ey, is in for the shock of their life. Break Her is a psychological thriller unlike any I've read in recent memory. The protagonist is pitted against a villain that defies description (by me, anyway). He is completely without conscience, a pure psychopath. Fuck the nicey-nicey personality disorder titles they give that stuff nowadays; this guy is a complete fucking psycho.
I'm not going to say much about the story - that would give it away. It is tautly written, fast-paced and mesmerizing. I couldn't put it down. Nor could I look away, even when the author was describing assaults so brutal that I literally couldn't imagine getting through it.
(WARNING: Anyone with any kind of sexual assault triggers or history shouldn't touch this book with a barge pole. Any merit to the discussion of rape and its use and effect contained in the book is miniscule compared to the graphic descriptions that accompany it.)
I was riveted while reading this book - my whole body held tense, almost literally on the edge of my seat. At times I was laughing out loud, other times open-mouthed speechless, one time bawling like a baby.
The writing was excellent - the author kept me guessing through the whole book. Small details slowly revealed, tension building and releasing all the way through until the end.
And the end! Holy shit. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let it out in one big gust. The author does such a job of keeping the reader off balance that at least one point I thought it WAS going to turn into a bent version of 50 Shades.
Thank God it didn't, but the way the author confirms it is with one word near the end of the book that sent my stomach dropping all the way to my toes.
If you can stomach the subject matter and the violence this is one of the best books I've read this year.
Adultery.A sticky wicket in a romance novel, to be sure. There are readers who won't touch this subject with a barge pole, while to others it doesn't matter in the slightest. Somewhere in the middle are those who will read it, but insist that it be treated with some sensitivity. The author then treads a fine line - how sympathetic to portray the H/h? How UNsympathetic to cast the (wronged) spouse? Any HEA is never truly that - no one escapes unscathed when this happens.
Heaven Forbids is an love story of epic proportion, the type that makes you hear swelling soundtracks and picture that beach scene in "From Here to Eternity". It is full of desperation and longing, heartbreak and healing. As a matter of fact, it is fairly old-skool in terms of the writing and the scope of the story.
Kathryn and Hugh virtually fall in love at first sight, when neither of them knows the other's identity. Of course, the compelling stranger Kathryn cannot forget is none other than her niece's betrothed. Kathryn is sent as a companion for Sarah as she travels to live with her new husband. She knows from the outset that she cannot have Hugh. He is equally as aware of Kathryn; and even more cognizant of his duty to his wife and his clan.
The expression "they fought their feelings" is trite, but that is exactly what they do. They try desperately to keep their relationship as that between the Laird and his wife's companion, but they cannot. They are drawn to each other as moth to flame. It is dark, it is painful, and it is desperate.
There is no villain in this triangle, no shrewish wife or scheming mistress. Sarah is basically a non-entity (much as happens in real life, I'm afraid). She simply doesn't factor into the equation, other than for the fact that she holds the position of Hugh's Lady. The H/h are not bad people. They do not commence their affair in a trivial way, nor do they seek excuse for their actions. They are anguished by their choice but in the end the pain they suffer by not being together is greater than the pain they would cause by acting on their feelings.
For those looking for a traditional villain in their romance there is one here (other than the folks in the love triangle). Set in Scotland around the time of the Jacobite rebellion, there is also war, madness and tragedy, just to round things out. Nothing gratuitous, everything has its place in the narrative and it all falls together just as it should.
As I said at the outset, when you write a story where the lovers are also adulterous, the HEA can't be full of sunshine and flowers. It needs to be realistic and not insult the reader. The best ones are bittersweet, as happiness gained at another's expense should never be treated lightly.
A super-angsty, old-skoolish read with a noble Hero and a strong heroine. If you can handle the adultery, Heaven Forbids is more than worth the time to read. Ms. Ranney has done a superb job.
4.5 stars
Before you all think I've fallen off the smut-wagon, allow me to clarify: it all started last week when I noticed Kindle Spice on Twitter. I've been checking it every day (for some reason I can't help myself), and this is one of the raunchy little numbers I found. FOR FREE!!This is how FSoG SHOULD have been set up. Stella is a grown up (take that, Bella/Ana) who thinks BDSM is a big crock of hooey, invented by men as a way to keep their womenfolk in line. Unfortunately, the man she has the burning hots for is a Dominant (and the cousin of a friend, which was how they met in the first place) and she figures she's too independent for him.
While at a convention in Vegas, Stella runs into Morgan at his casino. Sparks fly, and before she knows it she's made him a bet: she'll be his Submissive for a week, and she'll prove to him that she won't like it.
Famous last words, I'm thinking. ;D
We just barely get a taste of what Stella is in store for during her week as a Sub, but what we get leaves me wanting to buy the next installment on Amazon. Dammit!
I liked this - lots of tension and chemistry, a pretty hot version of BDSM 101 and characters I'd like to get to know better. I'd recommend this to anyone who is wanting to dip their toes into this hugely popular sub-genre.
3.5 stars
It was free when I grabbed it, but now it's $0.99 on Amazon.
Those of us who have attained a certain age are familiar with the term "Cougar".Apparently, if a Cougar travels to Jamaica and hooks up with a younger man there, she becomes a member of the sub-genus Tropical. That's right, Tropical Cougar.
Seriously?
This little sound byte (that's all I can think of to call it - it's only 23 pages long) took about 15 minutes to read. It seems to be the start of a longer story, but with no character development I can't be bothered to check out the next installment.
Overall impression?
You know how porn movies are broken into little installments with different people f**king about every 10 minutes? That's what this was like, only at the end the dude says to the girl he's just banged six ways to Sunday, "How about you move to New York with me and start a new life?"
Free right now on Amazon.